Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding
them at strategic locations.
2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they
don't realize it.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
4. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs
together and practically yell at him " I need some tampoons.
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible
"I smell sex and candy"
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think
we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and
turn the volumes to "10."
10.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from
the other aisles.
13. Put M&M's on layaway.
14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite
them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath
16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air
17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
18. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why
won't you people just leave me alone?"
19. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.
20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
21. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
23. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
25. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
26. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with
27. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things
like "pick me !! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that
the clothes are talking to them.
28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
29. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
31. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.